Thanks

Well I was lucky enough to go out with some friends tonight and I was so happy. Our new nurse came over and Madi gave her quite a hard time. If I'm around Madi wants nothing to do with her. She told her, "I want to cook dinner with mommy!" She is funny! Getting anything done one handed isn't easy. I feel very comfortable leaving Madi with our nurse already! It is such a joy to have help, even if Madi is reluctant!
One big stressor in my day today was that tomorrow our sitter has a vacation day and for a few weeks I had been planning on a new nurse coming to the house to train and then be here tomorrow. Well, I kept waiting! I called several times to remind them that I needed someone tomorrow. Well today came and she still didn't have anyone! I was very upset and frustrated! The nursing scheduler didn't even call me I had to call them. They finally found someone but I'm not too happy that we have never met the person before. Thank goodness our friend Todd will be home all afternoon too. Madi loves Todd!I am really nervous that this person hasn't met Madi or been to our house before! I am extremely frustrated that these people don't put themselves in my shoes! I am so grateful for the help, but not when it causing me so much stress! Hopefully I can post tomorrow that all was wonderful!
I can't wait for summer to be here so I can be home with my girls! I feel guilty leaving every day! I constantly think I should be spending every minute I get with Madi and pray that God keeps giving me one more day! How do I spread my time equally when I have a handicapped child? I haven't figured that out yet! It is coming down to the end of the school year and stress is taking over! I am very emotional and will probably cry every day now until it is over! I have such a controversy in my conscience! Should I give up all we have and spend time with my beautiful girls or continue life as normal and "pretend" Madi isn't so fragile and give them everything I want to! I just don't know! I do know that I need to continue to pray on it and hopefully God will send me some sort of message to help me figure it all out!
The benefit is this weekend! If you don't know about it you can check out madipokerrun.com I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life! I can't wait to see all of you, those I know, and those I don't. Thanks for all your continued prayers and support! My family is lucky to have you in our lives!